Frozen Heart
by Vantrika
Summary: I was convinced they would never understand. That put in my shoes, they’d crumble in a moment. I never thought they could be so strong. That SHE could be so strong. Harry reflects on that fateful night, when she changed from girl to soldier. Oneshot.


_Frozen Heart, Glassy Eyes_

Vantrika

Ships: Strictly platonic/protective RW/HG, friendship/admiration HP/HG

Spoilers: OotP, HBP. Read them.

Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER, Hermione Granger, and all related indicia are (c) 1997-2005 J. K. Rowling and Warner Brothers Inc. No copyright and/or trademark infringement is intended in the writing of this work.

NOTE: Please do not archive my story in any angst-based C2s. I don't want people coming here looking for anything more than the presence of certain characters, if only because if you are looking for angst, you see so much of it that I didn't intend. Angst has its place, but not in this one fic. Thank you.

* * *

I'll never forget it. The day I heard the news, that is.

I thought I was the only one in the world. They were my best friends, as close to family as I'll ever get. And I was convinced they would never understand. That put in my shoes, they'd crumble in a moment. I never thought…I never thought they could be so strong.

That _she_ could be so strong.

It came by owl. Hermione had ensured that Lupin's owl, Pig, and Hedwig would always know where we were, but no one else. I will never figure out just _how_ she managed that complicated bit of magic, but she did.

In Lupin's scrawling handwriting, a long note, about the status of the Order, the current whereabouts of the majority of Death Eaters, et cetera. His typical weekly report. Then, in a small envelope, with the name Hermione written neatly on the front, we found it.

Or, rather, _them_.

Two short articles. One about the sudden attack on Muggle parents of Hogwarts students. An attack on the parents of Muggle-borns.

As she read the article, I watched her face go grim. Her eyes stony. They kind of glazed over.

Hermione will never be able to pass as dumb. She can put two and two together and figure out _why_ you get four. She knew what was coming. Her hands shook, slightly, as she pulled out the second article.

_YOU-KNOW-WHO: WHAT HAS HE BEEN UP TO?_

_Apparently, he's been murdering Muggles. The usual. But. Now, there seems to be a method to his madness. He is killing parents._

_Oh, not just any Muggle parents. Muggle parents of aspiring witches and wizards. One of the most notable cases being the death of Dr. and Mrs. Granger, brutally murdered by Death Eaters. Their child, Hermione Granger, was a student at Hogwarts last year, and at the top of her class until she dropped out of her seventh year to aid her close personal friend Harry Potter on his quest to destroy Voldemort. Miss Granger was not available for interview, but her old friends from Hogwarts had quite a bit to say._

"_Hermione'll be devastated…she didn't talk about her parents much, but she had a Muggle photograph of them by her bed, and she would always wish them goodnight before bed," says friend and former room-mate Lavender Brown. "She must be devasted. I just hope she has a shoulder to cry on."_

"_Hermione's one of the strongest and brightest witches I know," says Ginevra Weasley, younger sister of Ronald Weasley, another close friend and sidekick of Harry's. "She was always willing to help me with my homework, even when she had piles of her own to do. I can't see her breaking down and sobbing. She'll just get mad. Really, really mad. And now You-Know-Who's got an incredibly angry and brilliant witch, 'The Chosen One,' and an equally furious and even more reckless (not to mention overprotective) wizard after him. It was really a stupid move on his part."_

_Top Ministry Officials, however, are not as confident as young Ginevra in Granger's abilities. "Having a devastated witch to look after can only hinder Potter's efforts. The fate of our world is already in the hands of an incredibly young wizard. He doesn't need to have the weight of a heartbroken young witch to tow along. There is nothing wrong with young Granger grieving, but the best thing she can do right now is go home, visit her relatives, and maybe go back to Hogwarts. She would be doing the best thing for herself, and for Potter, and for the wizarding world."_

The article went on, but by then, Hermione was shaking so violently I was amazed she could stand.

Suddenly, she turned around and walked away. She didn't run away sobbing. She didn't limp away dejectedly. She stood straight, with her head held high. She walked those steps, and she defied everyone. Those bloody good-for-nothings at the Ministry. Lavender. Malfoy. Voldemort. Everyone.

We let her walk. We let her take the time. We expected her to go away and cry. We let her have her alone time. After half an hour, we decided we had to go find her. It hadn't been very long, but there was no way we could let Death Eaters find such a defenseless and emotionally broken witch.

We found her in the middle of a Muggle part. Sitting on a bench, the article held in her hand. She looked up at us as we walked towards her. She didn't smile. But she didn't burst out sobbing, either.

Come to think of it, she hadn't been sobbing when we'd walked up to her. Her eyes weren't puffy. Her nose wasn't red. Whenever Hermione cried, her nose turned bright red for at least twenty minutes after.

She hadn't cried. She hadn't broken. We sat on either side of her, Ron awkwardly putting his arm behind her, his other hand resting in her lap. I just sat there.

"Hermione—" started Ron. I knew what he was going to say. _"We'll always be there for you. We'll always be your friends. If you need shoulders to cry on, you've got four. If you want to go home, it's okay, we won't blame you. We won't think less of you."_

And apparently, so did Hermione.

"Go home, Granger. You're not strong enough, Granger. You're just a dead weight, Granger," she said, so quietly we barely heard it. I have never heard Hermione that angry. "Right now, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere except straight into the nearest patch of Death Eaters. You're not getting rid of me that easily." She looked up.

For the first time in my life, I was afraid of Hermione Granger. Her eyes were hard. Cold. Stony. Sort of like how they did right before she slapped Malfoy.

Only much, much worse.

"I'm not going anywhere," she repeated. One, single tear slid down her cheek.

One.

I think of what happened when Sirius died. When Dumbledore died. I didn't cry in front of anyone else. I ran away the first chance I could. I ran away and hid. I cried until my cheeks were caked with a visible layer of salt. I was devastated. How could Hermione be feeling any different? How could she let it all out in one, single tear, a few quiet words, and not collapse?

How could she get straight O's in her classes despite having just had a huge row with Ron?

I realized it then.

Gut effort.

It wasn't _despite_ the row, but it wasn't _because_ of it, either.

Hermione had completely ordered her mind. Everything was placed on nice, neat shelves, and nothing ever mingled. _Emotional Distress_ never touched _Productivity_. _Sorrow_ never touched _Effort_.

_Despair_ never touched _Duty_.

She never cried, because she never _let_ herself cry. She never gave herself the time to cry. Her mind was always going. Always working. If she worked, her mind was too busy to dwell on the bad. She could move on in a matter of weeks. She could channel her anger, her sadness, her emotional distress into ferocity, productivity, and determination.

Ginny was right. Voldemort had possibly just made the dumbest move in his life.

He'd made Hermione mad. Well, not _mad,_ per say.

Determined. Unwavering. Suddenly I knew, just like I had known about me after Dumbledore died, that she would never again falter. This war had hardened her heart. If she faced the Death Eaters that killed her parents, she would not hesitate. She would not wait for them to act. She would take them out. If that meant an Unforgivable curse, so be it.

If I have to use _Avada Kedavra_ to get rid of Voldemort, I will. But not on a Death Eater. On Snape, yes. On Malfoy? No. I'm not strong enough for that.

Hermione is.

Voldemort has just created a time-bomb. A brilliant witch with more knowledge of practical spell-casting than possibly anyone else her age. One who's going out there, going out there to kill.

To destroy.

To wipe them all out.

Oh, I doubt she'll kill them all. She'd consider that merciful. She'll put them in Azkaban. She'll send every Death Eater she encounters off to prison.

Hermione Granger is out there, Voldie. You have frozen the heart of Hermione Granger, and I have a feeling it's not thawing 'till all your little minions are dead or in prison.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a review. A critique would be best, but casual comments are still nice.

Written 7/25/05. Edited 7/26/05.


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